Too much of everything.

As i grew up, i took most of what my parents said to heart.  I believed them and trusted them.  There had been doubts, but in the end, my loyalty ended with them.  But time after time, I felt wronged, judged, and blamed.  For what reason; most of the time, i believe it was unjust.  but in the end, they worked for it.  I wouldnt have been living here without them.  I still owe them something.

Both my parents rose me up in a poor, poor neighborhood.  We were pretty much dirt cheap.  There were fights outside out apartment every week, broken glass and gun shots.  I was always guided into the things my mom did.  Everyday, she would torment me about saving money.  Whether it’d be turning off the light for even a minute, or washing too long in the shower.  I used to have such a cheap mindset, that whenever I would spend money, I felt like i was losing a part of my soul.  So, I usually ended up saving all my money.

When my parents had more money, we moved into jersey.  grew up with white kids, learned to hate some of em.  Lots of fights, lots of pride, lots of ego.  Lots of everything.  I was overwhelmed by the different .

what am i saying

ok, well my point is that I had one mindset for my parents.  I felt wronged too many times.  I dont even see my real “home” as a home.  I get frustrated and angry when i talk with my parents sometimes even when nothing came up.  MY general attitude towards them has changed so much that i feel so… i dont even know.  How much damage mustve been done to me to think that way?  How much thinking must i have done for me to think like that.  Whatever.  My one goal is get rich.  Make money, and just make a lot of it.  Then make my parents live a carefree life, and that’s my way of repaying them. 

n

o

go awy

1 month ago  /  0 notes